Transforming Complaints into Opportunities

It's a rainy Monday morning,

I take the train to school.

Hearing the pitter-patter of raindrops on the window

My mood was perfectly represented by the weather

As I settle into a seat…

A burst of positivity caught my eye.

Albion, one of my homies – radiating with optimism

& laughing like a teapot.

He inspired me to write this newsletter

And to question myself…

Complaining used to be my default behavior.

I turned everything into something negative.

Life happened TO me, not FOR me.

I wanted to escape from it, silently screaming for help.

If anyone said I should change something…

Or switch my perspective-

All I said was:

“Easier said than done!” or

“You don't understand my life, my problems are different.”

I thought I was right.

But that's the thing with growing up, I guess…

Realizing what a dumb kid you were and that those tries to cope couldn't be further from the truth.

Complaining is a Habit

The first step is to become self-aware.

See that most people nowadays meet up to complain about how shit their life is.

It's the go-to conversation topic if your life is miserable.

And a lot of people think (Including my past self)…

That complaining generates a kind of liberating effect.

BULLSHIT.

Complaining isn't calming your negative emotions.

It feeds them.

You keep the negativity alive by repeating it.

Your brain isn't magically filtering it out.

You're not only ruining your relationships but trapping yourself in your mind.

But saying you should stop won't cut it here.

Have you tried it before?

At least, when I tried in the past, I didn't get very far.

Since complaining is a habit, we can't end it.

We have to replace it.

Replace it with a positive mindset shift once things go wrong.

As you know, there's an advantage to every disadvantage.

Focus on the good first, f.e:

“Didn't get the job you wanted?

Good! Go out, gain more experience, build a better resume.”

Simple & effective.

Complaining is like smoking

We're social animals.

Our brain unconsciously mimics the moods of people we spend much time with.

It's called neuronal mirroring – usually responsible for our sense of empathy.

That means:

You don't have to complain yourself to suffer the symptoms.

You're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Escape the pity parties.

Complaining damages everyone.

Would you inhale second-hand smoke if your 'friends' light up a cigarette?

No, you'd distance yourself.

Why still hang out with complainers?

Be the change you wish to see in the world

The world is a cruel place.

Yes.

But it's a never-ending story.

You'll always find something wrong with the current situation.

It's much harder to be the first to stop complaining.

And to start impacting the lives of others.

Focusing on the good stuff.

On what's in our reach-

The beauty in the things we take for granted.

You decide which perspective you take.

The lens of a problem solver?

Or a problem accelerator?

Sure, the situation may suck.

But resistance prevents us from learning how the situation can make us better.

Happiness comes from living entirely in the present moment.

Acceptance is the key.

Being rejected for the job isn't the end of the world.

It's an opportunity to reflect on what went wrong & how to set yourself up for success.

The Choice is yours

Let's sum up the actionable steps:

1. Self-Awareness: Keep a journal or mediate

2. Identify Patterns: What triggers you?

3. Reframe Complaints

4. Practice Gratitude

5. Immerse yourself in a positive environment

Remember:

No one is coming to save you.

Victimizing yourself will change nothing.

You'll end up even worse because no one will want to chill with you anymore.

You have to distinguish between talking about your feelings & complaining, of course:

If you seek help & need a solution, talk to your friends.

But complaining for the sake of it is dangerous.

Take 100% ownership -

And surround yourself with action-takers.

Are you ready for change?